|Home > Quinn Loftis > Grey Wolves > Out Of The Dark (Page 46)|
|Out Of The Dark(Grey Wolves #4) by Quinn Loftis|
"But he will live." Though the look in Jen's eyes showed her already-breaking heart, Jen's voice was full of steel, showing just how dead-set she was on her decision.
"We love you," Sally told her as she grabbed Jacque's hand and pulled her toward the door.
As they waited for Decebel to let them pass, he turned to look at Sally and Jacque, who both cringed under his glare.
"Congrats on remembering your mate, Dec," Jacque tossed out as she squeezed past the thoroughly pissed-off wolf.
"We were just leaving," Sally squeaked.
Decebel turned back to Jennifer, not bothering to acknowledge their words. He stepped aside and then the door shut and silence descended. After a short pause, he walked toward his mate. The need to touch her nearly overwhelmed him, making his wolf edgy.
He pulled a chair close to her bed. He laid his forearms on the comforter and gently placed his hands on her thigh. At first he didn't speak. He just stared at her with those glowing amber eyes. Jen began to fidget under his scrutiny. She looked down at his large hands on her leg, hands capable of crushing bone, but that were always so gently with her.
"Look at me, Jennifer." His voice was gentle but his words were a command.
Jennifer hesitated, but finally raised her eyes to meet his. He reached up with one hand and cupped her face. Jen let out a slow breath at the contact. Without a thought, she nuzzled her cheek closer into his hand and she smiled when Decebel let out a low growl.
"You think to keep yourself from me." It wasn't a question.
Jen didn't deny his words.
"Why?" he asked.
She tried to pull her face from his hand but he didn't allow it.
"I've been thinking – all this time laying in a bed, writhing in pain will cause a girl to reflect on her situation." Jen spoke quickly, worried that if she didn't say it now she wouldn't be able to. Because as she sat here with him so close, his scent surrounding her, her resolve was faltering.
The next words out of her mouth were a punch to his gut and painful enough to rob him of breath.
"I won't complete the mate bond or do the Blood Rites. I can't." Jen's voice wavered she couldn't bring herself to meet Decebel's eyes, instead she stared at the hand he still had on her thigh.
His hand dropped from her face and the coldness that coursed through her from that small action nearly caused her to throw herself in his arms and beg him to still have her. She finally looked up at him and what she found caused her breath to catch.
He growled, "Don't." His eyes were glowing brighter than Jen had ever seen them; his razor sharp claws had descended. "Don't look at me with fear in your eyes. I am your mate. I could no more hurt you than I could kill a child."
Jen realized then that she was speaking with the wolf. Decebel had checked out.
Under his unwavering stare, Jen felt his power rush over her. He was making her submit for the first time. She didn't fight it, but lowered her gaze and bared her neck.
"I won't let you go," Decebel's wolf told her, his voice rough.
"I won't allow either of you to die because of me." A tear slid down Jen's face. She didn't bother to wipe it away as she knew more would follow. Many more.
"That is not your decision to make. You are our mate, we protect you."
Jen shook her head and her shoulders shook with sobs. She didn't know how to handle the emotions coursing through her. She usually kept the hysterics in check, but lately there seemed to be a lot of things that, simply put, were beyond her tough girl exterior. No amount of telling herself to suck it up and deal with it like a big girl could've stopped the pain from ripping through her. It pushed the sorrow from her very pores.
She felt the bed sink in under his weight as he sat down next to her. To her surprise, he pulled her into his lap. That undid her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her face against it. When she heard soft words spoken in Romanian, she knew her man was back.
Jen pulled away to look at his face. Okay, so the wolf had only retreated a little – his eyes still glowed. But it was obvious Decebel had pulled himself together.
"Why do you put yourself through this, baby?" Decebel's hand slipped under the hem of her shirt to rub her back. Skin to skin touch was one of the most vital ways to calm a wolf. Jen leaned into his touch and hid her face from the piercing amber eyes that saw too much.
"We've known each other five months, Decebel. In those five months I've nearly died three times."
Decebel growled and pulled her tighter against his chest, causing her to wince in pain, but she refused to make a sound that would have him loosen his hold.
"If we had been bonded, you would have died with me. I can't accept that."
"You are an Alpha," he told her. "It is in your nature to protect. I can understand that, Jennifer. But you don't protect me. That is not your job."
"I disagree," Jen started.
"You can disagree all you like. Your job is to love me, to pull me and my wolf away from the darkness that would make us the most lethal killers. I don't need your protection, love, I need your light. I need to feel your touch on my skin for yours alone calms my wolf. I need your scent enveloping my body. I need your blood running through me." Decebel tilted Jennifer's head up so he could look into her shining blue eyes. "My wolf needs you to play with us, to challenge us. There are times when we need you to submit, and times when you are the last person we would want to submit to us. You are my beloved and beloved to my wolf. You are my mate, the other half of my soul. You are the only thing that belongs to me and with me and no other. For me, there is no life without you." He watched as tears fell from his love's eyes, and fear, pain, and love pulsed behind them.
"Bond or not, Blood Rites or not, when you leave this world I will follow."
Jen cried harder at his declaration, her forehead falling to his chest.
"Could you live your life without me in it?" he asked her gently.
Her head snapped up. "No," she said firmly.
"Then what makes you think I can live without you?"
Decebel saw that his words were finally getting through his mate's thick head, through her firm determination.
"Jennifer." Her name was a whisper on his lips
She looked at his face, his glowing eyes, his strong jaw, his sensual lips. He was hers. Jen had realized as she listened to him reason with her that she would never be able to live this life and not be bound to him. The very idea was tearing her to shreds. As she began to let go of that choice she felt her breathing ease. The turmoil in her was beginning to calm.