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|Sacrifice of Love(Grey Wolves #7) by Quinn Loftis|
He tried to keep the walls in his mind up but Sally was strong and she pushed through with little effort. He waited for her to see what he had become and then run screaming from the room. He felt her presence, but it wasn’t the same as the mate bond. There was no intimacy involved, and yet, at the same time, he felt very vulnerable. She stepped back as her hand dropped and her eyes opened. She met his gaze and her face became stern.
“She could help,” she told him firmly, but her words were gentle.
“At what cost to herself?” he asked.
“It is her right to sacrifice for you. Just as much as it is your right,” she continued before he could speak. “It’s spreading inside of you like a disease and eventually your wolf will take over. The wolf taking over, all instinct, without any of the reasoning of the man would be a very, very bad thing. Though, the fact that you are not in control might actually be worse. You know this and still you hold back. She is aching and empty because of your refusal to allow her to be what you need.”
“You saw what happened?” he asked, knowing she would understand that he was asking her about his memories.
“You saw who touched her, who she willingly allowed, and yet that doesn’t anger you?” his voice dropped to a growl.
“It wasn’t real, Fane. It was a curse that fed our deepest fears. She has suffered enough and you are causing her more pain than the curse did. You have to find a way to let it go. You need her and she needs you. If you can’t talk to her right now, then talk to someone because you are on a war path to self-destruction, and if you lose this battle, it won’t only be Jacque who suffers.”
He watched as Sally walked from his room closing the door gently behind her. He knew what she said was true. He had to fix this mess he had created. He needed his mate, needed her like a drowning man needed air. Sally spoke of Jacquelyn aching and his gut plunged to the ground. He knew that ache. It was his constant companion as well. His arms longed to hold her. His wolf needed to possess her, and he needed to love her—to show her how desperately he loved her.
He didn’t know if he had pushed her too far or if she would forgive him. He didn’t know how to tell her about the madness inside of him. He didn’t know how to bear his weaknesses and shame to her, but he knew that if he didn’t he would destroy them both.
“Love, we need to talk,” he sent through their bond and pushed so that it penetrated the wall she was keeping between them. He felt her shock, and then the utter despair that filled her, rush through to him. “Please, Jacquelyn, come back so we can talk.”
He held his breath waiting for her answer, praying it wasn’t too late.
“It’s about damn time,” she growled at him.
He nearly fell to his knees and wept as she reminded him of who she was. She was his and she wasn’t giving up on him.
“No I’m not giving up on you, but I just might kill you.” She was coming to him; he could feel her getting closer.
“If dying by your hand means I can feel your touch, then you can kill me a thousand times,” he knew his words sounded as fraught as he felt.
“Don’t tempt me.”
Fane growled as he felt the pain inside of her at the mention of touch. It had been so long since they’d touched and it was his fault.
“I’m going to fix this, Luna, though I fear how you will look at me once you know everything. But I’m so empty without you and the darkness is beginning to drive my wolf mad. He growls for you and I can barely hold him back from snatching you and begging you not to leave. I need you but more than that, I want you.”
He knew that is what she needed to hear. She had felt like he didn’t want her anymore and that she was no longer worthy to be his mate. The door slammed open as she rushed inside and threw herself into his arms. Fane buried his face in her neck and breathed deep. Her scent rushed into his lungs and for the first time in weeks he felt as though he could breath. He held her close and shuddered when her fingers twined in his hair.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair, “I’m so, so sorry.”
Jacque bit her lip as she tried to hold back the tears. She knew they were a long way from okay, but they were a step in the right direction. She knew there were going to be many fights ahead, but she also knew that meant lots of making up as well.
“I heard that,” Fane told her as he nipped her neck.
Jacque let out a weary laugh, “We have much to discuss before we get there wolf-man.”
“I hate reality television. That’s not something I can change. I do, however, wish that in reality, we had life lines. You know, phone a friend, street shout out, hit man hotline. Any of those would work for me.” ~ Jacque
“How did it go with Fane?” Vasile asked Sally as she entered his office with Costin’s hand at the small of her back. Though Sally was technically the Serbian pack’s healer, she knew Fane better than Rachel. Vasile felt it would be better for a friendly face to confront his son.
“It wasn’t pretty,” Sally answered. She leaned back against Costin when he let out a low growl. “Relax bartender, he was no threat to me,” she told him gently.
“That isn’t the point,” Costin responded curtly. Sally glanced over her shoulder at her mate and gave him a pointed look. Costin did not appear intimidated.
Vasile stood-up from his desk and let out a slow, deep breath.
“You mated males are aging me before my time.” Vasile met Costin’s eyes briefly and then returned to Sally. “What is wrong with him?”
“You know the darkness that rules inside of the males before they are mated. It almost enslaves them. We mates bring that darkness to heel, freeing the wolf to be what he needs to be for his mate and pack. But Fane is making the choice to keep his mate’s light from him. He is allowing the darkness free reign inside of him because of the rage that is building,” Sally explained.
Vasile began to pace slowly around the office, his eyes on the floor as he considered her words.
“Am I going to have to step in?” he asked.
Sally shook her head. “I don’t think so. I saw Jacque running to their room only minutes after I had left. I think he realizes what he has been doing to both of them.”
“Healer,” Vasile stopped directly in front of Sally and held her gaze. He heard something in her voice, something she wasn’t telling him. “Be straight with me. Will I need to step in?” he asked her again more slowly this time.